I haven’t seen Doug’s film yet (because it hasn’t yet come to Washington - which we all hope it will!)
But here’s my thought. I actually know way more about my parents than I ever wanted to. There is an aspect of divorce, and my parents divorced when I was 12 - or at least that’s when the process started - where I ended up finding out a lot about them and their relationship, lots of things that I never wanted to know anything about nor really had any business knowing about.
My parents got divorced in the 70’s - before people accepted divorce and anyone “knew how to do it.” Now, there are all kind of books, self-help groups, “putting the kids first” mechanisms that try to shield children, but at that time no one had come up with those paliatives.
No matter what, when a family is torn apart - lots of pieces of information - self-help books aside - end up emerging that kids would just as soon not know. It’s like all the snakes just crawl out of the box.
So my attitude about my own kids - I have three, 20, 18 and 16 -is that there are things that are just none of their damn business - both about my relationship with their father and about me as an individual. I figure as long as I treat them fairly and honestly on that things that do involve them, then that should be sufficient.
But maybe this is the attitude of someone who had too much information - too much, too soon.