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51 Birch Street


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“A triumph of true-life storytelling… with every bit the emotional punch of the more sensationalist doc fare”

– Eddie Cockrell, VARIETY

Nikki (age 19)

Hi there!  I seem to have stepped into this site a little late, however I just saw that this movie was coming to Boise this Friday, so I’m not even sure if anyone will see this since it’s so late =P

Anyway my story is not quite the same as most and it’s not exactly finished as you all see i’m only 19.  It appears that most who have shared their stories are much older and have their own families.  Like I said mine is not over whatsoever but so far seems to be quite a trip.

I was born on March 9 1987 to Kali.  My mother was only 15 and my father John was 22.  They were very much into drugs sex and rock n roll sort of lifestyle, at least my father was until the day i was born.  He quit his drugs and his rock n roll band and tried to be a father.  He always tells me his life began the day mine did.  My mother on the other hand did not stop her wild lifestyle.  She was big into crack and heroine even while she was prego with me.

Her immaturity has stayed with her even til this day.  Now she is 34 with 8 children including myself with 8 different fathers.  She was imprisoned for a year in 2001 for the death of my 8 month old brother Liam.  which to this day i believe she murdered. 

My father now 42 is living with my stepmother Sherry, the most amazing and loving woman I have ever known to walk this earth.  They met a year after i was born in my moms driveway (when i say mom i mean sherry) she was in the middle of divorce of 16 years with a 12, 9, and 7 year old to take care of, he was a pallet builder with a 1 year old barely scrapping by.  She hated him at first and actually found him rather geeky and was very turned off by him.  He was completely smitten.

Two days after they met he called her on his lunch break and they have been inseperable since.  Sherry raised me from the time i was four until i left for the service.  She proved everyday to be amazing.  She is my best friend and even though she’s not my biological mother i am more her daughter than her own.  I am exactly the same as she, except our looks!  =P

Throughout my short 19 years i’ve been through hell and back.  The first four were unbareable.  At least to any adult.  I was too little to realize what happend, however i have vivid memories i wish i didn’t.  Kali tried to raise me but could you imagine a 15 year old raising a baby with another on the way.  I hate to be crude but she just couldn’t keep her legs closed.  She then gave me to my father at the age of 2.  But one day she kidnapped me with my Uncle Michael (my fathers brother) who turned out to be her lover.  My father found them “together” one night after she had me in the bathroom.  He was heartbroken and felt so betrayed by his own brother.

They hitchhiked all the way from detroit to little rock.  When they returned they gave me back to my father because Kali said she couldnt’ handle my constant crying and whining so she didn’t “want it” is what she said to my dad.  It’s good to know i’m an “it” ha.  However, she eventually came back to wanting to take care of me and by then i was 3 and she had another little girl and anotehr on the way.  At this time my father took her to court for custody.  In the process i lived in many crack houses and was actually almost traded for drugs.  She was a fiend. 

I have many memories of my mother having sex with my uncle and feeding me sour milk.  She never changed my diaper and didn’t teach me how to potty train.  My sister Heather was born with metal disabilities due to the heroine she was taking.  She is now 16 but has the mental capacity of a 12 year old.  She will always remain a few steps behind everyone else. 

By the time I was 4 i had seen someone been shot, seen people snort cocaine, smoke pot, shoot up, have sex, be sexually molested and finally seen some of the worst fights between people over drugs then i could have ever imagined.  Once my father recieved custody of me he made sure that i never had to see that lifestyle again.  He protected me from everything which turned out to be not the greatest thing for me.  I’m finding out on my own that life is not easy and people are hard to trust. 

I’m sure there is so much to my story that i’m missing.  There is so much that my father has never told me and so much emotion he’s never shown me.  I have to admit that growing up hasn’t been easy for him to watch.  I used to be so close and be daddy’s little girl, but now i’m becoming my own woman and things are changing.  We hardly speak anymore and when we do we just argue about the stupid crazy things i’ve done or how i dont’ call enough.  Lately i’ve just said hi how are ya?  and talked to my mom. 

I think i’m going to love this movie, mainly because of how real it is.  I always used to think i was the only one with a dysfunctional family and the only one out there whose real mother just doesn’t care, but i dont think i am.  I’m so excited to see this film.  I love movies i feel i can understand or relate to in some way shape or form.  I think i’ll relate because i have a feeling this is about growth in oneself and with ones parents.  My mom Sherry always says when i talk to her that family is unconditional and no matter what she will always love me.  to be loved so much by someone who by her own free will took me in, is an amazing feeling.  I hope this movie will help me to fully realize how important your parents really are and how that relationship alone is so beautiful and affects us in so many different ways.

Sorry so long, i dont’ blame anyone for not reading it all =P take care!


Hang in there; you’re not alone, and you have an entire lifetime to make it as good as you want it.  Your dad sounds like a great guy, as does his wife.  The old adage is true:  You can learn as much from a bad example as you can from a good one.  Take the good stuff in your life and have a great time smile

By: Boomer, on Feb 28, 2007

Dear Niki , Your story is like a movie , and how smart and intelligent you are after witnessing so much.Your Father is probably sad that his little girl is grown and doesn’t need him so much, he sounds like a wonderful person. You are lucky to have two parents that love you so much. Stay strong and go to the movies !!!!!

By: Maggie, on Apr 01, 2007

Wow. Unbelieveable.  You must be one of those special people who eventually becomes a leader in our world and makes the world a better place. You have gone through hell and back and your future looks fab! Carry on with strength. You are in my prayers.  Thanks for your story.  Lea

By: Lea, on Jul 18, 2007

You are the real winner of this battle...what courage! I am impressed at such a young age you are able to articulate events and their impact on your very young life....

Keep up the reflection sweet pea...many people need to read it for many many reasons...I think you might already know
Peace to your heart!! Leslie

By: Leslie, on May 01, 2008

Just so the dvd last night and like anyone else loved it.
I so glad you escaped that life and
hope that you continue to grow -
my prayers are with you and that you and your father are able to connect like the family in the film.
p.s. your writing is great and that maybe your calling.

By: Karen, on Jul 03, 2008

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